Cleaning tip, Makeup reviews, Moisturizers, Uncategorized

These are a few of my favorite things

Happy Saturday everyone! It’s been a stupid busy week around here..I tried super duper hard to blog throughout the week, but DAMN!

This week is not going to be JUST makeup, cause I get it..not all you lovely babes like to wear it..but then again, if you don’t like makeup, why the fuck are you reading my blog???! (Sorry…not sorry) no but seriously, thank you for reading my blog even if you aren’t a makeup whore like I am.  I am going to share my favorite tip for cleaning (cause I’m a fucking tool and love cleaning) and my favorite way to relax..because no matter how much I love cleaning, while I’m doing it, I inevitably get pissed off at my family for the mess they make..filthy animals!! (Kidding. .I love my guys) and I need to unwind.

So first up is my new makeup/skin care reviews:

I picked this up at my local drugstore for about $12. I’ve noticed that since I started using my new L’Oreal ProGlow Foundation which is a super dewy finish, when I use my regular powder blush I look like a cracked out clown, no matter how light I apply it. That’s because the dewy finish is somewhat “wet” and it grabs the pigment of the blush. So I figured I would start out with a cheaper blush, hence this stuff.

This stuff looks pretty cool. It has a very weird texture..kind of like a powdery gel kinda thing. Honestly I’ve never felt anything like it..and that is saying ALOT because I have had my hands in a lot of people’s different orifices (at work you PERVS!! And a couple times in college 😉 jk)  and never felt this kind of texture. But I soldiered on, hoping for a nice glowy flush of my cheeks…you know the one right?…that little bit of color in your cheeks after a quick romp with your man…except no sex head) flush.

Well…..I didn’t get that from this blush. I got nothing…there is barely any pigment in this so I had to keep adding and adding until I finally saw a little flush of color. I roughly calculated at this rate, this $12 pot of blush will last me 4 or 5 times..so for sure not worth the money. Maybe if you have very very fair skin this would work for you, but it’s 2 big fat thumbs down for me.    I could have spent 12 dollars on batteries and gotten “multiple cheek flushes” 😉😉

Next up is my new favorite moisturizer:


I again bought this at my local drugstore for around $15….and believe me it is worth it. I have super sensitive skin that gets super ass chapped in the winter and this shizzle is the B.O.M.B!!!! It absorbs quickly and moisturises very well. It is a nighttime formula which means it doesn’t have any SPF in it…I know..I am a fucking rebel! But honestly, I don’t use a moisturizer with SPF because it burns my skin. My primer has SPF so that will have to do. If I end up looking like a California raisin, I’m cool with that..

Now on to the cleaning portion of the evening…

I’ve got three words for you…..Vinegar, Dish Soap and Chlorine Free Bleach (ok..that’s more than three words but it’s my blog and screw you lol).  I use a mixture of these 3 things to clean the nastiest place in my house..my shower.

My shower gets funky…I have tried umpteen dozen kinds of Soap Scum Remover and it does NOT work. But I found this “recipe” on Pinterest and gave it a shot…and Holy Shit Balls!!! This stuff works!

What you do:

Mix together equal parts of Dawn Dishsoap, hot Vinegar (I heat it up in the microwave), and Chlorine Free Bleach (which is basically Hydrogen Peroxide). Anyway put all of these into a spray bottle and gently swirl it around. Don’t shake this motherfucka or you’ll have stinky blue foam all over yourself..and I will point and laugh 😝

Once you’ve mixed this up, spray your entire shower and be generous with it. Then turn on your bathroom fan (this shit stinks 😷) and close your bathroom door. Go sit your lovely ass on the couch with a glass of wine for the next 2 hours. After a couple hours, simply wipe down the surfaces you sprayed, rinse it and VOILA!!! No scrubbing, no sweating, no soap scum swearing..just easy peasy.

Now after you’ve cleaned your shower, you deserve some “me” time. I’m talking about self care. We all need to make a conscious effort to do at least one thing for ourselves everyday. I’m not talking about taking a shit sans kids or dogs or cats in the bathroom with you. I mean something to just be quiet with yourself and be in your moment..

I found this app on ITunes. It is called RespiRelax. The app is only in French but it really doesn’t matter because it doesn’t talk to you.

You simply start the 5 minute timer and breath along with the pretty little bubble. When the bubble rises, you take a gentle yet deep abdominal breath and exhale as the bubble falls. It is wonderfully relaxing..it slows your heart rate and breathing down. You may find yourself yawning or hear your stomach grumbling while doing this breathing exercise..all good signs that your parasympathetic nervous system is taking over (the Rest and Digest system). So go ahead lovelies and take some time for you. 

I’d love to hear back from you in the comments section about your favorite way to “just be”.

Until next time..hope you all find time to laugh and live 💖

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Makeup reviews

Deep thoughts and a foundation find

I’m going to mix it up today and start out with my deep, brooding thoughts. I know this is primarily a place for makeup but I gotta keep you on your toes.

So I’ve always been a big fan of saying “I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up”…and usually people just laugh cause I’m generally a sarcastic smart ass (is that the same thing?)…but I am telling the honest to god (if you believe in that sort of thing) truth.

I knew from a very young age that I wanted to be in healthcare. I NEVER dreamed of being a lawyer (although can you imagine getting to argue with someone when you’re PMS’ing, and getting paid big bucks to do it???!!!…that’s my idea of doing what you love ladies), ok…I lost myself there for a second..phew. But as I was saying, I never dreamt about being a chef or an accountant or anything other than healthcare. So I followed my dream like a fucking rockstar! I have been in it for almost 20 years, and I can honestly say that I have loved it and hated it at the same time.

It takes a special kind of soul to be a first responder. We have to walk into a complete stranger’s personal space and try and help them through whatever crisis they find themselves in. And most of us are really good at it. We care for these people as if they were family. But the shitty part about it…we don’t care for each other. Some of us hold up signs claiming we will support each other and so on, but when it comes time to put your money where your mouth is, we clam up tighter than your asshole. We NEED to be nicer to each other because in general we aren’t nice to ourselves and the public sure doesn’t show us much love (you know what I mean medics and cops right?!).

So you know what? I have figured out what I want to be….I want to be NICE. I want to leave people better than when I found them. I want people to know that they can come to me, and I will help as best I can (except for loaning $$$, cause this bitch is broke!). I’m not saying that I love everybody, cause that’s a big fat lie..there are some people that I would gladly run over if there were no witnesses around 😜. But I can and will be nice to them..it’s not being two faced..it’s called being an adult. And I’m sure as hell not saying that I won’t be a flaming douche from time to time to the people I love (I’m only human) but I want to be a nice person. So I’m going to follow this dream too and no one can stop me!!

I think that we should all strive for this when we grow up gals. Let’s be nice 💝

On to the makeup portion of the show ladies!!!

I have a love/hate relationship with foundation. I love it because my skin is SHITTY and I’m not a huge fan of walking around looking like the troll who lives under the bridge, but I also hate looking like I slathered my makeup on with a spatula. I just want to walk out my door knowing that my skin is camouflaged enough so that small children won’t cry when they see me, but that I don’t look like one of those ridiculous “Housewives of whatever fucking city and have way too much money”

I have finally found the perfect foundation for me! This tube of foundation can be picked up at the drugstore or the big box stores…it’s usually priced around $20, so you don’t have to remortgage your house to get some.

Its a light to medium coverage, which means it will cover some of your flaws but not everything, so you still look normal. It has a dewy finish but it’s not sparkly or anything (so no Edward laying in the sun). I know the big makeup trend now is matte this and matte that, but I can’t pull that off. My skin is just too fucked up for that…matte foundation shows every flaw on my skin. So I much prefer the dewy look, it makes my skin look like I actually got more than 30 minutes of sleep and subsist on more than coffee.

I use a wet BeautyBlender sponge to apply this, which I found works best for me..and you have to be fast to get this on because it dries super quick. But that works to my advantage because I don’t want to spend an hour doing my makeup.

So if you’re in the market for a new foundation, give this one a whirl

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Makeup reviews

My new faves and not so much

This will be my first official blog post…eeeekkk I’m so excited!!

I’m going to start off with my recent finds and how they stood up to my tastes. I’ve got a good mix of cheap brands and higher end..so there’s something for everyone. I love a good deal as much as the next person..and I’m not above wearing products from the discounted bin.

So let’s start off with my Sephora haul….because really who doesn’t love Sephora?! It’s like a strip club/porn/candy store for makeup addicts. I literally start sweating and shaking if I’m at the mall and know I don’t have the time or money to stop in…I know, I know..I have a problem…but too fucking bad

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I got these on sale on http://www.sephora.ca for $6… which is a steal. This is the first time I’ve tried this specific type with the Salicyclic acid. I usually go for their more soothing wipes but since my skin is acting like a 13 year old girl…think pimples and craziness, I thought I would try these.

So far, I am loving these. I have sensitive skin and these don’t give me a burning sensation or cause my face to light up like a Christmas tree. I am not noticing any change in the 4 pimples I’ve got going on, but I do notice that my skin feels very clean with no residue after using these..so if you see these on special..grab them up! Definitely worth the price.

Next up are these Sephora Cooling Mint Blotting Papers

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I grabbed these at my local Sephora for $10. I used to think that blotting papers were for people who had too much money and wanted to look all hoity toity, but I have learned that these are worth every penny. No matter how dry my skin is..throughout the day, my forehead gets so greasy I could cook fries on it. These babies do exactly what the packaging says..they blot your oil.

To be perfectly honest, paper towels or napkins from fast food restaurants will blot off your oil just as well as these, BUT…you will look way classier whipping these out instead a handful of tp.

So if you’ve got an extra $10 laying around..head on over to Sephora and grab these up.

 

Next up is this bottle of my new addiction- Tarte Rainforest of the Sea Marine Boosting Spray

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I picked up this travel sized bottle for $16 at Sephora. I’ve seen some YouTube videos and beauty bloggers raving about it and wanted to try it.

This shizzle is magic!!! It is so hydrating and calming on your skin. I have tried it as a serum on freshly cleansed skin and as a primer before my makeup and as a refreshing spray on my fully made up face…and I LOVE IT! It smells like the beach and it’s just yummy, yummy yummy for your skin. Mmmm

Now for my bargain find…E.L.F mascara

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I really, really, really wanted to like this because it’s cheap..like $2.97 cheap and it has synthetic beeswax in it (I have a wicked allergy to beeswax), so when I found this, I’m pretty sure I heard angels singing and Ryan Gosling standing naked holding it (a girl can dream right?!)  But sadly, it’s a big fat fucking fail. It’s way too thin and watery, so you have to put like 5 coats of it on your lashes to notice any effect. And who’s got that kind of time? Not me. Mascara has always been my least favorite product..I hate it, but that may be due to the fact that most mascaras make my eyes swell up like the morning after beer and wings. But I’m going to keep looking…if you have a good one, please feel free to leave it in the comment section

That’s it for my haul this week. I grabbed some other things but I’ll save them for my next post.

I’m not sure if anyone will read this blog or not…I’m going with NOT lol, but if you do take a few minutes out of your day to visit my site THANK YOU.

I know we are all super effing busy with life or if you’re having one of those days where you staying in your jammies  drinking wine and binge watching Scandal…but please know that YOU are enough. There is so much bullshit nowadays that we have to be the perfect moms with clean, well adjusted children, all the while keeping our house clean and our partners sexually satisfied like a 1950’s housewife…but shit! How the hell are we supposed to do that EVERY SINGLE DAY??!!  You know what…some days I tell my son to eat whatever he wants, and I literally couldn’t give a flying shit if he showers or not. I tell my husband I’ve got a massive headache so the bedroom acrobatics are out of the question, and I do nothing all day..because that’s what I need. As I sit my fat ass on the couch I do get the beginnings of guilt that as a mom and wife I should be doing something, but I literally force myself to relax. And the best part of it….when I tell my lovely psychologist that I took a “ME” day she congratulates me. I’m not saying we should lay on the couch everyday until our asses fuse to the upholstery, I’m just saying don’t beat yourself up for needing to relax.